My Speech at David's Retirement Party

I feel like you all have honored us with your presence, and given us a gift of yourselves in taking the time to come here tonight, especially the partners from Portland and others from out of town. It is really special. I wanted to give you all a gift in return, from Alaska, but David didn’t think a prime garage sale item was appropriate.
It is bitter sweet, retirement. David has had a successful career as a counselor, and now I take him off to a NUT farm. I have been looking forward to having David in my life more than a couple hours a day, and now it is coming true. My girlfriends in similar situations, however, have warned me that this may not be what I really want. Bonnie Bennett says she married for life, but not for lunch.
I have great memories, like negotiating with Tom Landye, the transfer of our, what I considered, substantial investment in office equipment, computers, fax, and copier to LBB. Tom displayed his renowned negotiating skills that have made him the great lawyer that he is today.
I will miss the yearly holiday shopping in Portland that has become a tradition in our family. I have my favorite shops and restaurants to visit. The spectacular partner dinner with everyone dressed to the nines and offering the finest of food and wines, will be a memory we will always have.
I think David is the first partner to officially “retire” without another paying job. So we are setting precedent here. Hopefully retired partners will still be invited to social functions, and any future retirement parties. Any pending invitations? Has anyone started to think about retirement, now that one of you is doing it? Or are you going to watch David and see if it “takes” or not? They say old lawyers never die, they just negotiate.
Of course, you are all welcome to visit us in Kona and view the workings of an actual coffee and macadamia nut farm. There are special picking bags available for guests.
When we tell people that David is retiring and we are moving to Hawaii to take care of a coffee farm, they nod and give a chuckle. But yes, we are really going to do it. Just like the adventure we began when David joined LBB. We are ready for the next adventure.
I look forward to staying in touch with you all and taking bets who will be the next partner to try retirement.
And to David, who we are honoring here tonight, I want to say that I am looking forward to the rest of our lives together and lunch; but maybe not together at the bridge table.